50 Bollywood Jokes That Never Fail To Make Me Laugh... And Another 19 Bas Ainvayi - BSYnews.com

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Wednesday, May 9, 2018

50 Bollywood Jokes That Never Fail To Make Me Laugh... And Another 19 Bas Ainvayi

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Aditi Rao Hydari's face always looks like she's watching people eat panipuri and no one's asking her if she wants to eat

5.



2013 : Matru ki Bijli ka Mandola

2018 : Sonu ke Titu ki sweety

2050 : Ramu ke chacha ki bua ke bete ki Dulhan hum le jayenge

6.



A girl's duppata got stuck in my blazer's button. I expected something Bollywood but she pulled it so hard that button came off. Kutti.

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In the climax of Guru, Abhishek Bachchan is given 5 mins to speak. He rants for about 6 and a half minutes and says 'saadhe 4 min me sab kuch khatam kar diya maine 30 second profit' and it bothers me. Yes.

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Siddharth Malhotra sounds like the name of a character Ranbir Kapoor would play.

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Solo foreign trip.

Bollywood: No-strings attached no holds barred fling with hot fellow Indian.

Reality: Koi mere photo kheech do yaar

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Indian Railways & Bollywood have become horrible for the same reason.

They're relying on tracks from the '90s.

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I call upon a petition to trademark Anjali's hairstyle in KKHH and call it Kuch Kuch Hota Hair

17.



Nana Patekar's daughter's kids call him by his first name. And I think that's beautiful.

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Deepika Padukone height is 1.74m, but Rani Padmavati height was 1.75 m. Bhansali is destroying history so

19.



Hrithik: kyun chalti hai pawan?

Ameesha: differences in air pressure from one location to another

Hrithik (confused af) na tum jano na hum

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Me to my Android phone: Ok Google.

Tamil Friend: OK Kanmani was better.

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y does shraddha kapoor in every movie give off vibes like if she finds a potato shaped like ganesh she gonna pray to it

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[at Govinda's restaurant]

Customer: "Waiter, this food has too much chilli in it."
Waiter: "All right boys, this is what we trained for."

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Bunch of people have been congratulating me on the success of Bollywood film Tiger Zinda Hai. I was confused.

Then I saw this picture.

This is not me.

I don’t think.

90% sure.

85.

27.



[in bed]

Gf: Surprise me.
Me: Ajay Devgn's ghost could've repaired Tarzan car while it was in junkyard for years but he didn't.
Gf: whoa

28.



In my understanding the genre of music where Ranbir Kapoor dresses like a homeless person and screams into a microphone is called sufi rock

29.



If someone makes a biopic of Sushant Singh Rajput, they will have to find two people who look like Dhoni but one more than the other.

30.



Had accidentally played Maula Mere from Anwar in 2007 and it finished today.
Nice song.

31.



in my car at a signal -

eunuch (seeing a girl next to me)- aayyye hrithik roshan, paise dena
me - yeh meri friend hai
e- aaye jimmy shergil

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[patient has headache/cancer/AIDS]

Relative: Dawa ?
70's Bollywood Doc: Aap inhe lekar kuch dinon ke liye kisi hill-station pe chale jaaiye

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Lara's face

Lara: OMG I just swallowed saltwater! Im going to hurl!
Director: Keep acting!
Lara: Oh, the passion!

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Lets take a moment to acknowledge the oddity of Akshay Kumars shaved armpits in this movie.Boat party anyone?

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I miss the days when most gender-based arguments could be solved with a dance-off to "girls are best jaan lo baat ye maan lo boys are best…"

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SRK and Salman have put in years of hard work to lower people's expectation to such a level that anything half decent is cheered immensely.

44.



In a Sooraj Barjatya film:
Bae: Come over
Prem: A lil busy now
Bae: My parents are home
Prem: Will be there in 5 with my parents

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Ek baar Jo maine commitment de di, phir toh main usse kaafi regret karti hoon.

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Casting Ajay Devgn for the Vimal Pan masala ad is a masterstroke. After all he's the only actor who looks like he could actually be using it

49.



Arijit Singh is like Aaloo of Bollywood. Har movie mein thoda thoda daal dete hai.

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Aamir singing Tu pyaar hai kisi aur ka tujhe chahta koi aur hai in Dil Hai Ki Manta Nahi was the original slytweeting.

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there's always some cunt who's like "ur mom's not allowing?! de phone de, aunty se main baat karunga", ranveer singh seems like that person

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Songs from 90s went all 'zamane se darte nahi', 'Lad lenge duniya se' when all they actually had to do was convince parents for marriage.

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Youtube has employed one guy whose job is to comment "I'm from Pakistan but I love this song from India" on every Bollywood Song.

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Tumne kabhi kisi ko pyaar kiyaaa? *kiya* Kabhi kisi ko dil diya? *diya* Haha. Kaisa kata?

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Basically, Prabhudeva dances like that earthworm on which you sprinkled a pinch of salt

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Terribly Tiny Horror Tale:

There's this one time someone launched a Bollywood movie without going to the Kapil Sharma show.

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Hollywood - And the Oscar goes to
Bollywood - And the Sansui Colors Stardust Pan Parag Amba TMT Saria AsliMasaleSachSachMDHMDH Award goes to

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Anything is possible in Bollywood. Like playing Basketball with a Football in Tennis dress on a Golf Course.

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According to Bollywood, Dawood Ibrahim Razai me bhi chasme lagakar cigrette peeta hai.

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Bollywood movie genres: Romantic Comedy Romantic Action Romantic Drama Romantic Horror Romantic True Story Romantic Patriotic

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Pic 1 : When u start watching Ashutosh Govarikar's movie.

Pic 2 : At the end of the movie.

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why is modi ji as much a part of the film promotion circuit as kapil sharma

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Had it been an Indian show, Emran Hashmi and Vidya Balan would have appeared on to promote their new film.

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Only in an Abbas Mastan film you will find the leads so excited about going to a party, they will sing about going to a party, at the party.

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Our movie has a strong social message. And an item song.

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